Childfree, but not Anti-natalist
by Rudrakshi
“I am bored”, “I don’t have a direction in life”, “Who will look after me when I am old?”, “Let’s have a child to fill the gap that has emerged in our relationship” and, worst of all “How will society look at me if I don’t have children?” are some of the reasons some people have for wanting a child (of their own).
If you are bored, what is the guarantee you won’t feel bored after your child is already 5? What next? There’s no U-turn.
If you don’t have a direction in life, are you sure you can show your child the right direction? Think, what actually is needed, a direction or a child?
You already have expectations of your unborn child that they should look after you when you are old or be a gap-filler between you and your partner. Does having a child come with a certificate of guarantee? Instead, invest today in healthy relationships so you have people around you when you are old. Try to fill the gap with love, not with a child, or the child remains a gap-filler for throughout his life.
“What will society say if I don’t have children?” Are you serious? Take a deep breath and think again. If needed, take another deep breath and keep doing it until you use your brain and not society’s.
The term ‘child-free’ is often mistaken as ‘child-less’. No one thinks, not having a baby can be a choice too. Even today, couples are religiously producing babies after getting married without even giving a thought whether or not having a child fits in their life plans. Isn’t it 21st century we are living in? Our lives are meant for lot more than just giving birth (for no reason). Ever thought of being of service to others and the joy it can bring to you? Ever thought of visiting those untouched worlds that the deepest piece of your heart has always wanted to explore? Being child-free gives you ample time to grow – financially, professionally or even spiritually.
Now, do I sound like an anti-natalist? I’m NOT. Parenting is almost 20 years project. Are you committed? If your answer is yes, great! If not, because you have an amazing job that you just love and want to grow in it, or because you still need to cover those 100 places on your travel list, or because you are just happy, perfect! There isn’t a need to get society’s stamp on your family status and then fail miserably as a parent.
If you can’t raise your child to be the one who makes this planet a better place by just living in it, focus on the area you’re good at! This world is already filled with numbers. We need leaders, not numbers!
Rudrakshi is a trainer of vocational education in Australia. She also works with children and realizes how the parents lack quality time with their children. They drop their children in the care of educators while they themselves are so busy providing for their families. This trend makes her question the future of this generation and of the planet as a whole.
